You’ve got to ask

“If you could give a piece of advice to yourself at the age of eighteen, what would it be?”
“If you want something, you’ve got to ask. Hard work isn’t enough. Yes, you need to work hard. But then you’ve got to ask.” Humans of New York

Perhaps it is because I have grown up in a decently socialist country. Perhaps it is from growing up with a disabled sister, having a deeply engrained belief that everyone deserves equal opportunities to live happy lives, even those who can not provide for themselves. Perhaps it is because I am a girl – we’re taught by society to wait for our turn and be polite and petite little creatures and that there’ll be someone to provide for us. Perhaps it’s a mix of all three – or maybe it’s just part of being human.

In any case, a part of me expects things to be fair. If I work hard, I will be rewarded for it. If I do a good job, I will get a promotion. If I am just clear with what I’m good at, I will get the salary I deserve. However…

“Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you’re a vegetarian” Dennis Wholey (?)

Luckily, I am not writing this blog post to complain about opportunities that I should have gotten but didn’t, or how life isn’t fair.

I am writing this having made some huge advancements. Exciting, surreal, crazy, mind blowing and super cool advancements, professionally and personally.

I asked at work. I told them what I wanted – the role, the responsibilities, the ownership and the salary. Given how hard I work and how much I have to offer, they were not unreasonable suggestions – and now I suddenly find myself in a position where my role is even more exciting than I expected, the responsibilities even bigger than I hoped for, and the ownership and salary is very satisfactory. I got what I wanted and more – but I had to ask.

Would I never had advanced had I not asked? Sure I would. The people I work with are reasonable and good at recognizing talent. Slowly I would be given more responsibility, higher salary, recognition. But never – never! – with the speed in which this happened. I had to ask.

I asked at home. We walked through the park, I got down on one knee and I asked him to marry me. He said yes.

Do you know do you want? Then go ask for it!